Wings

Sometimes I still can’t believe it.

This new place I find myself in.

This new version of me I’m learning to inhabit.

The expansion inside me is happening at such a rapid pace, I frequently feel like I no longer recognize the person I’m becoming.

My heart just keeps swelling in size, growing to hold more love, more life, more me.

It doesn’t feel like a choice I’ve made.

It doesn’t feel like a path I’ve decided to walk.

It doesn’t feel like it’s in my control to stop it, even if I wanted to.

And there have been plenty of moments I’ve wanted to press the brakes.

Yet, still.

I keep expanding.

It’s simply happening in me, whether I accept it or not.

So I’ve chosen to walk alongside it, rather than struggle to repress it.

Even as the older, more entrenched parts of me fret with fear and anxiety.

Even as others around me find it hard to relate and understand, their own beliefs and fears surfacing as they struggle to support my growth.

I wake each day, and find myself ready again.

Ready to deepen on this journey unfolding within me.

Ready to find beauty where others see despair.

Ready to keep moving forward, shaking off stagnancy and slumber.

Ready to continue this practice of becoming fully awake in myself, and the world.

I sometimes miss the simplicity I felt before, when life felt less complicated and there were fewer moving pieces to hold.

Yet I know, I can’t go back.

It’s simply not how transformation works.

Even in my moments of overwhelm and bewilderment, I know I can’t trade my new wings for my old cocoon.

And I wouldn’t want to.

It’s scary at times and the learning curve is steep, but oh- the glory of these new surroundings!

The exquisite, thrilling adventure of finally…

Learning to fly.