Awake

When I get home from his house it’s often really late at night.

It takes an hour of driving on the freeway and some time on the backroads to get there.

It’s not convenient I guess, but I think I’d drive anywhere to see my warrior.

I should be exhausted afterwards and collapse into a sleep coma.

But being near him, looking into his eyes and feeling him deep inside me.

It’s electric and feels as though I’m energetically charged up for the rest of the night.

After the first few times I realized there was nothing I could do about it, so I just leaned in.

Now I kind of love it.

I lie awake in bed, listening to music and processing through our time together.

Songs he’s sent me, songs that remind me of him.

Memories of sensations wash over and through me.

The touch of his strong hands on my skin.

His perfect full lips surrounding mine.

His body merging with my own.

He’s big.

I’d never seen someone so big before.

It takes my breath away when I see him.

Each time he enters me after we’ve been apart it feels so intense I have to gasp for air.

And the way he fucks me, it’s like the world is ending tomorrow and we’re the only people left on earth.

I can tell some of our new relationship energy is starting to transition into security and devotion.

We’ve entered a new phase.

I trust him.

I think he trusts me.

I feel it in the way we look at each other.

No longer with shock and disbelief that the other is real.

There’s a sureness.

A knowing.

A depth.

Tonight he held me.

Kissed every inch of my face and made me feel like his queen.

Then he fucked me like we were animals in the forest and made me feel free.

Afterwards I wrapped around him and held his body as it rose and fell with each breath.

I slept pressed against him, dreaming of someday staying overnight and getting to make love in the morning.

I woke up a bit later to the smell of coffee.

He makes it before I leave, to help me stay awake for the drive.

He makes amazing coffee.

I have to-go mugs I could bring with me, but I love using his.

I love having a little piece of him in between our visits, even if it’s borrowed.

God he’s so beautiful.

I call him my warrior because he is one.

He reminds me of men from another time.

Tribal maybe, but not from any one culture or place I’ve ever known.

He’s this unique mix of features and styles and qualities.

Being in his presence is like being a tourist on another planet.

He’s just, singular.

Unparalleled.

Rare.

It’s almost 1am and I know I’ll be awake for hours still.

That’s how he makes me feel actually, in every way.

Awake.